Saturday, September 24, 2011

Here's to not falling for everything.

Music of the hour: Switchfoot, Creed, NeedToBreathe, Train


I've been challenged recently to re-evaluate my standards in friends, guys, my entertainment, etc, pretty much just all the standards in my life. I've been thinking about them recently and what my standards should be because I call myself a christian, and what they actually are. I'm sitting here in my student center at my "christian" college and I'm listening and watching some of the people here and I'm shocked at some of their standards. Because what I've realized is no matter what you say your standards are they way you live actually shows what they are. And although i'm shocked, i'm thinking to myself, what does MY life say my standards are? Am I the exact same way, but too blind to see it?  I know one thing, I don't want to be that way. I want to be able to see myself for who I am and to be able to continually grow and keep my standards high. But I have to say, in the recent months I know they've gradually dropped. It's like I've dropped them without even realizing that I have, just because it's easier to make them just a little lower, then a little lower. I guess because it seems like so many things out there don't reach. But  that's the point of having standards, isn't it? So you are able to weed out the things that don't reach and keep the things that do. I like that saying ' If you don't stand for something then you'll fall for everything'. I think it's pretty accurate. Because if you don't have a point to where you don't accept something, then everything goes. It might actually be that since my standards have dropped some, then maybe I didn't really have them set in the first place. I think I've just taken, or gone with what my parents standards have been and now that i'm not at their house anymore it's kind of like some of them I've kept, and some of them I haven't. I know what I really need to do, to make sure that I don't fall for everything and that I don't just settle, I need to make my own standards for things. And by actually making them, I mean own them, keep them, don't falter in them. So... here goes it. 


How I choose to live my life: 


Guys-  
Has a heart that's seeking after God. (if this is true, everything else will fall into place)


Friends- 
Have good morals. 
Don't bring me down in my standards. 
Encouraging when I need it. 
Push me in the right direction. 


Entertainment- 
If it could cause someone else to stumble, then don't go there. 


Myself- 
I will keep my word. 
I will be the best example that I can to others around me. 
I will continue to look at myself and with Gods help change into who i'm supposed to be. 
I will give up what I have to (things in life), I won't compromise.
I will NEVER give up and quit (walking with God). 


Philip 3:13 


Love! Gabrielle 



Sunday, September 4, 2011

My Someones




In one of my classes we had to write about someone that we love. I couldn't just pick one person. Anyway, I thought my paper would make for a good blog post too. So here it is... 




It’s funny how God works; how He can change your perspective or view, your feelings about someone, something, or a situation you find yourself in. I know that we were just supposed to choose one person for our “someone” card, but I had to choose two. I guess—because in my mind—they always go together. The people I chose were my two youngest sisters, Brynlee and Emmarie (Emmie). I think most people probably chose their family members, or their husband/boyfriend/wife/girlfriend, and I had to do the same.
The reason I think it’s funny how God works is because if you would of asked me three years ago, Brynlee and Emmie wouldn’t have been on my card. Instead, one of my friends or my mom might have. You see, three years ago I was going into my junior year of high school and wasn’t really walking with God. I was super selfish, all about my friends, and really took my family for granted. I remember coming home from school one day and receiving the news that would change my life for forever—my thirty-nine year old mom was pregnant. I am pretty sure I busted into tears, ran downstairs to my room, and probably texted one of my friends in a hysterical mess. I thought this was one of the worst things that could have happened to me. Another sibling? Really? I already have two. Why do I need another one, especially one that is going to be seventeen years younger than me? I thought it was ridiculous. I was furious; I was selfish and not thinking about my mom and what a shock this was to her or about my other family members and how it was affecting them. I remember that I practically didn’t eat for a week and just about gave everyone the cold shoulder. I know that sounds drastic and most people would be thrilled, but for some reason at that point in my life I couldn’t see what was going to be so amazing about having a baby in the house. Another mouth to feed, diapers to change, someone else to get into my things, and to share my life with. Like I said before, I was selfish and therefore just thought about me and how it was going to change my life.  I am not proud of the way I acted or what I put my family through by acting like a spoiled brat, but I have to explain it for you to understand. Anyway, nine months later my mom gave birth to a beautiful baby named Brynlee Baye. I think from the moment I saw her, every preconceived thought and emotion about having another sibling diminished. This was my little sister, a little precious person that I was given the opportunity to help mold, shape and raise. Needless to say, I fell in love with her and helped with her all the time. I was always holding her, changing diapers, giving baths, you name it. She was precious, and I was the typical doting big sister.
Then, out of the blue and a year later, my mom and dad shocked us with more news that again would change my life forever. She was pregnant again. I remember going through some of the same emotions that I had when I found out about Brynlee, but I was able to get over them quite fast as I watched Brynlee grow and saw that I was going to be given another wonderful gift to help raise. Emmie came nine months later, but it was a difficult birth and both she and my mom almost died. How awful would it have been if I had all those horrible feelings toward my mom and Emmie and they had died? I would have been devastated. I thank God that they are fine now and healthy. 
Now, when I think about Brynlee and Emmie I don’t know what I would do without them. They are the people that can make me happy on my worst day. They bring laughter and joy into my life and they have forever changed me and my family. I owe a great thanks to them for the impact they’ve made on my life—even though they are only two and three years old. And to think that three years ago I was pitching a fit and thought that this was going to be the worst thing that could have possibly happened to me. How wrong I was. 


Love! Gabrielle.