Sunday, October 23, 2011

Love This.



This is an awesome song and video... and I believe it is definitely blog worthy. Enjoy :] 


- Gabrielle 

Friday, October 21, 2011

A Thousand Little Diamonds.

I like to think that everyone has those moments in their life where they decide what the rest of their life is going to be like. Or maybe some people just know. I'm not one of those. Unfortunately I have to figure out where I want to go in life. And right now is one of those times. You see, with my family (if you're a female) your life goes like this... You are raised learning how to cook, clean, take care of kids, do all the womanly/motherly things, you go to school and to college to find a husband, you can get a degree in something but it's not really serious, it's a "just in case I have to work someday for some strange reason" kind of degree, once you get married you have kids and raise them the same way. For some people (like one of my sisters) that sounds fantastic, and that's exactly what they've wanted to do their whole life. Stay at home, have a family, raise kids, etc... But for me that's not cutting it. I feel as if that is such a narrow minded way of living. It's so boring, is that really all life is about? Is that how you want to be able to sum up your life at the end of your days? Not me. I know that eventually those things will come, i'll probably get married, i'll probably have kids, and i'll probably raise them close to the same way I have been. But that's not what I want my life to be about. I feel like there is so much in the world that I haven't seen, and that I haven't done, and so many people I haven't met, and cultures I haven't experienced. Living a life perfectly mapped out seems so dull and unfulfilling. I want to experience things, I want to see things, I want to do something, not just live a simple preplanned life. 
I know that although I want that, that I might not be able to do that. Which is something I struggle with. I was sitting outside tonight on my parents back porch looking at the stars. There are so many... and the night sky is so HUGE and beautiful. It's like a thousand little diamonds, and It just makes me realize even more how gigantic the world is and how many things there are to do. And how little time I have and it's slipping through my fingers every day. I don't even know how to start really living. I don't want to get stuck in a rut and find myself in one of those cliche lives. But I also know that I have to want, above all that, to live the life that God has planned for me. I don't think that he would have me live a dull simple life if my heart really doesn't want that. But still, I know that maybe that's not what he has planned for me. And I have to be able to accept that. As hard as it might be. And I my head knows that if I ask God, and I trust him, that he'll lead me in the right direction. I know all this stuff in my head, but still i'm afraid to make a decision to totally do that. I always ask myself the 'what if' questions... "what if God has something totally different planned?" "What if God wants me to live the simple mapped out life?". But now that i'm thinking about it. Part of not living the mapped out dull life is not asking the 'what if' questions and going for it. 'What if' only holds me back. 
So here is to not being held back and going for it. Here's to not living the mapped out life. Here's to believing that there is a greater plan. And here's to following that plan. Every time I look at all those thousand little diamonds in the black night sky, i'm going to remember that 'what if's' get me no where. And whatever future I have ahead of me is going to be great. I just have to grab hold of God's plan and go with it. "Man plans his way, but God directs his steps." 


- Gabrielle