Sunday, November 6, 2011

significant words


Never give up; I’m sure many people have been told that at some point by someone in their life. It’s one of those sayings we hear all the time. But, I believe it is one that most people are so used to hearing that they don’t really grasp the meaning of those three simple words. And yet, those three simple words, never give up, are the most significant words someone has ever said to me. And maybe it’s more than just what the words mean, it’s more of how they are said to me. The way the words come alive by the way they are lived out in front of me.  
Plenty of people have told me to never give up in all the different things I have tried to do. I am not the athletic type but every time I try some sport I always hear “never give up!” from various people who know that it definitely takes some effort on my end to keep up. In school, plenty of relatives, friends, and teachers have always told me to “never give up!” when I get stressed out and my work seems to have piled up in an insurmountable amount overnight. Every time something hard comes up in my life I always hear those words, “never give up!”, but the only person that has actually impacted me with those words has been my mom. I guess because instead of just saying those words, she lives those words. She really doesn’t even have to say them with words, her life tells me to never give up, because no matter what happens you can always push through with God. 
If you look at my mom now you could never guess the things she has been through, seen, or done. At one point she was homeless, she was a single mom and went through college, she’s been through abusive relationships, she had major health problems, she’s been angry at God and wondered why he put her in the different difficult and trying situations she has encountered throughout her life. Many times when people see her now that knew her in the past, they’re surprised she’s still married to my dad, they’re surprised she’s alive, and they’re surprised at what God has done with her life. She is a mother of 7 kids, speaks at women’s conferences frequently, is highly involved with our church, and is well known within the community. But the only reason she is who she is today and is such an amazing mother, wife, mentor, and example, is because of one thing. She never gave up. My mother pushed through all obstacles in her life with one mindset, I will never give up and God will see me through. She’s told me to never give up, like many others, but to me words are just words until action is added. What has made her saying it so significant to me is that she lives it, shows it, and preaches it by the story of her life. She always says to me, ‘Gabrielle, no matter what, never give up‘; And I don’t ever plan to. 









Sunday, October 23, 2011

Love This.



This is an awesome song and video... and I believe it is definitely blog worthy. Enjoy :] 


- Gabrielle 

Friday, October 21, 2011

A Thousand Little Diamonds.

I like to think that everyone has those moments in their life where they decide what the rest of their life is going to be like. Or maybe some people just know. I'm not one of those. Unfortunately I have to figure out where I want to go in life. And right now is one of those times. You see, with my family (if you're a female) your life goes like this... You are raised learning how to cook, clean, take care of kids, do all the womanly/motherly things, you go to school and to college to find a husband, you can get a degree in something but it's not really serious, it's a "just in case I have to work someday for some strange reason" kind of degree, once you get married you have kids and raise them the same way. For some people (like one of my sisters) that sounds fantastic, and that's exactly what they've wanted to do their whole life. Stay at home, have a family, raise kids, etc... But for me that's not cutting it. I feel as if that is such a narrow minded way of living. It's so boring, is that really all life is about? Is that how you want to be able to sum up your life at the end of your days? Not me. I know that eventually those things will come, i'll probably get married, i'll probably have kids, and i'll probably raise them close to the same way I have been. But that's not what I want my life to be about. I feel like there is so much in the world that I haven't seen, and that I haven't done, and so many people I haven't met, and cultures I haven't experienced. Living a life perfectly mapped out seems so dull and unfulfilling. I want to experience things, I want to see things, I want to do something, not just live a simple preplanned life. 
I know that although I want that, that I might not be able to do that. Which is something I struggle with. I was sitting outside tonight on my parents back porch looking at the stars. There are so many... and the night sky is so HUGE and beautiful. It's like a thousand little diamonds, and It just makes me realize even more how gigantic the world is and how many things there are to do. And how little time I have and it's slipping through my fingers every day. I don't even know how to start really living. I don't want to get stuck in a rut and find myself in one of those cliche lives. But I also know that I have to want, above all that, to live the life that God has planned for me. I don't think that he would have me live a dull simple life if my heart really doesn't want that. But still, I know that maybe that's not what he has planned for me. And I have to be able to accept that. As hard as it might be. And I my head knows that if I ask God, and I trust him, that he'll lead me in the right direction. I know all this stuff in my head, but still i'm afraid to make a decision to totally do that. I always ask myself the 'what if' questions... "what if God has something totally different planned?" "What if God wants me to live the simple mapped out life?". But now that i'm thinking about it. Part of not living the mapped out dull life is not asking the 'what if' questions and going for it. 'What if' only holds me back. 
So here is to not being held back and going for it. Here's to not living the mapped out life. Here's to believing that there is a greater plan. And here's to following that plan. Every time I look at all those thousand little diamonds in the black night sky, i'm going to remember that 'what if's' get me no where. And whatever future I have ahead of me is going to be great. I just have to grab hold of God's plan and go with it. "Man plans his way, but God directs his steps." 


- Gabrielle 

Saturday, September 24, 2011

Here's to not falling for everything.

Music of the hour: Switchfoot, Creed, NeedToBreathe, Train


I've been challenged recently to re-evaluate my standards in friends, guys, my entertainment, etc, pretty much just all the standards in my life. I've been thinking about them recently and what my standards should be because I call myself a christian, and what they actually are. I'm sitting here in my student center at my "christian" college and I'm listening and watching some of the people here and I'm shocked at some of their standards. Because what I've realized is no matter what you say your standards are they way you live actually shows what they are. And although i'm shocked, i'm thinking to myself, what does MY life say my standards are? Am I the exact same way, but too blind to see it?  I know one thing, I don't want to be that way. I want to be able to see myself for who I am and to be able to continually grow and keep my standards high. But I have to say, in the recent months I know they've gradually dropped. It's like I've dropped them without even realizing that I have, just because it's easier to make them just a little lower, then a little lower. I guess because it seems like so many things out there don't reach. But  that's the point of having standards, isn't it? So you are able to weed out the things that don't reach and keep the things that do. I like that saying ' If you don't stand for something then you'll fall for everything'. I think it's pretty accurate. Because if you don't have a point to where you don't accept something, then everything goes. It might actually be that since my standards have dropped some, then maybe I didn't really have them set in the first place. I think I've just taken, or gone with what my parents standards have been and now that i'm not at their house anymore it's kind of like some of them I've kept, and some of them I haven't. I know what I really need to do, to make sure that I don't fall for everything and that I don't just settle, I need to make my own standards for things. And by actually making them, I mean own them, keep them, don't falter in them. So... here goes it. 


How I choose to live my life: 


Guys-  
Has a heart that's seeking after God. (if this is true, everything else will fall into place)


Friends- 
Have good morals. 
Don't bring me down in my standards. 
Encouraging when I need it. 
Push me in the right direction. 


Entertainment- 
If it could cause someone else to stumble, then don't go there. 


Myself- 
I will keep my word. 
I will be the best example that I can to others around me. 
I will continue to look at myself and with Gods help change into who i'm supposed to be. 
I will give up what I have to (things in life), I won't compromise.
I will NEVER give up and quit (walking with God). 


Philip 3:13 


Love! Gabrielle 



Sunday, September 4, 2011

My Someones




In one of my classes we had to write about someone that we love. I couldn't just pick one person. Anyway, I thought my paper would make for a good blog post too. So here it is... 




It’s funny how God works; how He can change your perspective or view, your feelings about someone, something, or a situation you find yourself in. I know that we were just supposed to choose one person for our “someone” card, but I had to choose two. I guess—because in my mind—they always go together. The people I chose were my two youngest sisters, Brynlee and Emmarie (Emmie). I think most people probably chose their family members, or their husband/boyfriend/wife/girlfriend, and I had to do the same.
The reason I think it’s funny how God works is because if you would of asked me three years ago, Brynlee and Emmie wouldn’t have been on my card. Instead, one of my friends or my mom might have. You see, three years ago I was going into my junior year of high school and wasn’t really walking with God. I was super selfish, all about my friends, and really took my family for granted. I remember coming home from school one day and receiving the news that would change my life for forever—my thirty-nine year old mom was pregnant. I am pretty sure I busted into tears, ran downstairs to my room, and probably texted one of my friends in a hysterical mess. I thought this was one of the worst things that could have happened to me. Another sibling? Really? I already have two. Why do I need another one, especially one that is going to be seventeen years younger than me? I thought it was ridiculous. I was furious; I was selfish and not thinking about my mom and what a shock this was to her or about my other family members and how it was affecting them. I remember that I practically didn’t eat for a week and just about gave everyone the cold shoulder. I know that sounds drastic and most people would be thrilled, but for some reason at that point in my life I couldn’t see what was going to be so amazing about having a baby in the house. Another mouth to feed, diapers to change, someone else to get into my things, and to share my life with. Like I said before, I was selfish and therefore just thought about me and how it was going to change my life.  I am not proud of the way I acted or what I put my family through by acting like a spoiled brat, but I have to explain it for you to understand. Anyway, nine months later my mom gave birth to a beautiful baby named Brynlee Baye. I think from the moment I saw her, every preconceived thought and emotion about having another sibling diminished. This was my little sister, a little precious person that I was given the opportunity to help mold, shape and raise. Needless to say, I fell in love with her and helped with her all the time. I was always holding her, changing diapers, giving baths, you name it. She was precious, and I was the typical doting big sister.
Then, out of the blue and a year later, my mom and dad shocked us with more news that again would change my life forever. She was pregnant again. I remember going through some of the same emotions that I had when I found out about Brynlee, but I was able to get over them quite fast as I watched Brynlee grow and saw that I was going to be given another wonderful gift to help raise. Emmie came nine months later, but it was a difficult birth and both she and my mom almost died. How awful would it have been if I had all those horrible feelings toward my mom and Emmie and they had died? I would have been devastated. I thank God that they are fine now and healthy. 
Now, when I think about Brynlee and Emmie I don’t know what I would do without them. They are the people that can make me happy on my worst day. They bring laughter and joy into my life and they have forever changed me and my family. I owe a great thanks to them for the impact they’ve made on my life—even though they are only two and three years old. And to think that three years ago I was pitching a fit and thought that this was going to be the worst thing that could have possibly happened to me. How wrong I was. 


Love! Gabrielle.

Monday, August 1, 2011

Purpose





I was having a conversation with a friend earlier this week talking about losing perspective on what's important in life, and not realizing what the purpose in life is, and not taking time to question things. It made me start thinking about my own life and how easy it is for me to lose perspective of what my purpose is, what's important, and what i'm supposed to be doing. I can get so caught up in the fast pacedness (I think I just made a new word) of life, of new changes, of everything the world throws at you, that it really does make it hard to stay focused. I think now is one of those times where I need to stop everything that's happening for a moment and get back the purpose in everything that i'm doing and make sure i'm still going the direction I want to. Why is it that we get so distracted and pulled awry so easily? I would think that if we know where we want to go and who we want to be that nothing would be able to shake us from it. And yet, I'm sure of where I want to go and who I want to be, but things still seem to be able to slightly shake me from that direction... Why do some things in life just seem to take over without us even noticing it? Then, all the sudden we're going a completely different direction from when we started. I don't really know why. And I don't know why i'm able to forget so fast and easily all those things. But, I do know that I am so thankful for the people in my life, (mainly my mom) who keep me grounded and keep reminding me to take time and look at my life, look at my direction, and urge me to make sure I realize the important things in life. I'm pretty sure I would be a crazy mess without her. 
I know another thing that helps me is to take time to just sit and meditate on life, write in my prayer journal, or read something thought provoking. After I get done doing that, it seems like i'm refreshed and ready to keep on keeping on. It's those times when I let life get too busy, that's when I lose perspective, I lose the important things in life, and what my purpose is. I think sometimes too that we get too preoccupied in looking at the past or the future  that we forget, that what we're doing NOW is making the past and preparing our future. Maybe if I looked more at the present time and not so much at the past or the future I would be more aware of important things that are now, and where i'm heading now, and what i'm supposed to be doing now.
Anyways... just thoughts that happen to be stirring around my head this week. 


- Gabrielle :]

Sunday, July 10, 2011

Confrontation of freedom.



Music of the hour: The Band Perry (If I die young) 


Excuse my blog tonight, I've got a lot on my mind so it might be a little jumpy.

Two of my sisters and I have moved out recently for college. We're not too far away from home, just too far to drive everyday. I knew that when I moved out that it would be a whole new learning experience. And that we would mess up, but hopefully not too bad. I knew it would come with bills and responsibilities that I haven't had yet. I knew we would be confronted with sudden freedom. I knew that we would have to work through things, and it was definitely going to be different than living at home. 

We've had a little taste of all those the past few days. I'm definitely nervous about paying the bills and saving money. I've got my job, but it's a new thing to learn and it honestly makes me a little nervous too, nervous that I wont make enough money or I wont do it well. We haven't really had to work through any problems yet, i'm sure we're going to, but we all get along pretty well, so it'll probably be a little while before that happens. And, the confrontation of freedom has slightly come up. I know I have to explain, because you're thinking "what in the world is the confrontation of freedom?". It's like when any person moves out of the house, the first thing you think of is freedom. Right? It doesn't work quite that way for us. Not the freedom most people think of. We technically are able to do anything we want. I can listen to anything I want, talk to whoever I want, dress however I want, watch whatever I want, go wherever I want. But, I choose not to. That's the confrontation of freedom. Being able to, and knowing you can, but not doing it or doing it. I guess it really comes down to your own values and standards you've made personally. And although i'm keeping the same standards/rules/values that I had at home it's still hard sometimes knowing I am able to do what I like.
 I think true freedom is being able to choose clearly what you want to do and what you don't want to do and seeing the consequences of both. Not being strangled by the burden of having to choose the "right" things dictated by your parents. And Not just flying off the deep end doing whatever you like because all the sudden you don't have people there to tell you not to. Neither one of those sounds like really making a conscious decision. Both are made by something else. Whether we realize it or not. It's hard, because the normal thing to do, I think, is to try everything and do whatever we can because we have this opportunity to. It's hard to make the right decision. To sit back and look at all the costs of everything. To not rush into stuff because it looks fun, everyone else did it or is doing it, because it's the expected thing to do. It pulls at you. But it helps me to think about people around me watching to see what my next move it going to be. What decision will I make? What direction will I go? How will I turn out? I just have to remember that i'm being watched and followed. My decisions directly effect others. That's why I have to make the right ones. There is no confrontation of freedom with me, because true freedom is making decisions based on what's in my heart and what I know to be right and true and choosing that over being forced to or not choosing it because  I don't have to.

What i'm going to be thinking on --



 1 Peter 2:11-12 "Dear friends, I urge you to be aliens and strangers in the world, to abstain from sinful desires, which war against your soul. Live such good lives among the pagans that, though they accuse you of doing wrong they may see your good deeds and glorify God."


Galatians 6: 9 " Do not let us become weary in doing good. For at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up."


hearts- Gabrielle 

Sunday, July 3, 2011

Wonderings.





Music of the hour : Josh Wilson, Mumford and Sons, Damien Rice, Between the trees, and a few others close to the same genre. 


I can't sleep. I hate it when I get a thought stuck in my head and it just keeps going and I can never get it out or I can't make myself not think about it and go to sleep. But what better way to let it go than to write it all out?
 I'm pretty sure we've all had people in our life that have come and gone.  I know it's a part of life, to have people come and go. Meeting new people, letting go of others. But for some reason I always think about a few certain people that have played a huge role in my life, who've helped shaped me into who I am, who seemed to have been there in some of the most critical points in my life, who I don't know how/who I would be if it wasn't for them. And yet, now, they're gone. Not dead, but no longer in these chapters of my life. I sometimes wonder if I played as big of a role in their life, or was I just a small portion that's now looked over and not really remembered. Do they ever think about me, or all the times we had together, the times of learning, and growing, and of love? Or am I just a faint memory that fades into all the other chapters of their life? It hurts sometimes to think about how they are gone now. The people that you always want in your life, that have meant the most to you, just walk away. And the feeling of helplessness, of not being able to do anything about it bothers me. 
I want to be able to fix everything, and make it all right, and change people. Maybe that's selfish. I don't know. Or maybe they were there for that period of life because you really needed them then. And now, since they are gone, you can be that person that they were, in someone else's life. Or maybe they were there for a season to teach you, and you've gained what you can from it. Nevertheless... it's still there in the back of my mind, "Do they ever wonder how I am, what i'm doing with my life?" or "Did I mean the same that they meant to me?". Maybe i'll never know, or possibly i'll come to some revelation in the future and understand it all. If I do, I'll be sure to share it. For now I guess I just have to be content with not knowing and being thankful for the moments that they were in my life. 


hearts- Gabrielle

Sunday, June 26, 2011

This is your life.





I love sunsets... they remind me of the times in life where you can just sit back and relax and think and enjoy where you're at for a moment. Then, everything starts up again the next day, life speeding down a road that you've never traveled before.
I know everyone has those moments in their life where big changes are coming. I guess It doesn't really happen when you're really little, or maybe it does and you just don't notice it. Then as you get older, you start to realize the big changes more and more. Like going to high school, getting your license, getting a car, graduating, going to college, moving out, getting married, having kids, then I guess the big changes stop for a while until your kids start going through the big changes. I know this analogy, life is a river and it's taking us somewhere, it starts out a slow steady stream, as you grow it gets faster and faster, soon we come to this place where it's rapids and you're speeding down this river that you've chosen, in a direction, not really knowing what's coming next, just trying to brace yourself for the next part. I think those rapids are when you're hitting all those different moments in life where it's changing drastically and where your decisions definitely change where the river takes you.
I'm not too sure I like this part of life very much. And then, at times it's thrilling to not know what's coming next. Maybe it just takes some getting used to. I'll catch on, and hopefully just go with the flow and enjoy the ride while i'm learning the ropes and choosing my direction.

"Life is a dance toward God, I begin to think. And the dance is not so graceful as we might want. While we glide and swing our practiced sway, God crowds our feet, bumps our toes, and scuffs our shoes. So we learn to dance with the One who made us. And it is a difficult dance to learn, because its steps are foreign." - Don Miller


Hearts. -  Gabrielle